Lord, have mercy.

November 15, 2007

As often as I have taken this fact for granted, tonight I have been given just enough grace to understand that I am a catechumen in Christ’s Church… the Church I didn’t think existed, the Church of the Martyrs and Saints, the Church of the Creed and the Seven Councils, the Church He died for, the pillar and ground of all truth. Tears in my eyes, with a heart full of both hope and sorrow for having found the true faith yet taking it for absolute granted at so many times, I am humbled. God be glorified. God be exalted! God is so Good!

To participate, however weakly, in the Divine Liturgy as we gather on Sunday, we are richer than the Old Testament Saints. To only set foot in the place where the literal Body and Blood of Christ our Savior is mystically present, to receive a blessing from the priest who is blessed enough to touch this Mystery, to sing with the heavenly angels and magnify the Lord and witness what even Moses had never seen — we are rich beyond compare. Though my heart may be as a slab of wood and my scattered thoughts may lead me elsewhere, I am closer to paradise there in the Church than I could ever deserve to be.

As Saint Symeon the New Theologian so gracefully put it…

I know that the Immovable comes down;
I know that the Invisible appears to me;
I know that He who is far outside the whole creation
Takes me within Himself and hides me in His arms,
And then I find myself outside the whole world.
I, a frail, small mortal in the world,
Behold the Creator of the world, all of Him, within myself;
And I know that I shall not die, for I am within the Life,
I have the whole of Life springing up as a fountain within me.
He is in my heart, He is in heaven:
Both there and here He shows Himself to me with equal glory.

May I be counted worthy to partake of this Divine Mystery. May I be granted through the prayers of our holy fathers the graces of repentance and tears, humility of heart and soul, simplicity of mind and righteousness in the sight of God. May the Theotokos smile warmly upon me as I try, however weakly, however sinfully, to draw closer to her Son. May I remember always to meditate on these things, to keep my heart in paradise and my mind in hell. May this sinner dare to call upon the Name of He who these lips aren’t worthy enough to utter, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.

Jeremiah 6:16 “Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.”

Forgive me.

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One Response to “Lord, have mercy.”

  1. candleprayer Says:

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, that quote is awesome.
    I’m going to have to post it in my own blog soonish, but if I did that it would remind me that I needed to read more theology. And I do.
    Though I could never hope to write so eloquently, I agree with everything you’ve written 🙂

    May God bless,
    Kyrie
    PS: I also started a blog here, if you hadn’t noticed. I figured it was about time I gave in!


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